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Joke of the Day

"If you were to second guess your decision to book some time to visit an Indian community... that would be a ""reservation reservation reservation"" ~ Brian Regan"

"Excuse me while I go slip into something more alcohol."

"The sound of thunder is no longer Thor's hammer. It's a pissed-off Lady-Thor stomping round Asgard and noisily filling the dishwasher while she waits for someone to ask her what's wrong..."

"Is it dangerous to swim on a full stomach? Yes. It's better to swim in water."

"BROKEN CAGE Q: What did the bird say after his cage fell apart? A: ""Cheap, cheap!"""

"Are you a guitar? Because I want to wrap my hands around your neck."

"Did you hear about the three guys that walked into a bar? You'd think the third guy would've ducked."

"I told my boss you're a plank He asked ""why?"" I said ""Cuz you're a piece of ship"""

"What is the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? I have never payed for a garbanzo bean on my face."

"What do you call a hired investigator who's a jerk only when he's alone? A private dick."