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Joke of the Day

"I told my boss you're a plank He asked ""why?"" I said ""Cuz you're a piece of ship"""

"Did you here the joke about the dead guy? Nevermind, it's time has passed."

"I find the best way to deal with death is not to be the person who is dead."

"Shout out to people that do not know what the opposite of in is!"

"I named my WiFi after my last girlfriend because it's never fully connected with me. And also because I caught my neighbour using it."

"What did the valley girl say when her pen ran out of ink? I LITERALLY CAN'T EVEN WRITE NOW"

"Doctor doctor give me the news I've got a bad case of lov- oh what's that? It's AIDS? Well that just doesn't rhyme at all"

"The Dalai Lama went into a pizza shop.. And asked them to make him one with everything."

"Lottery gives you a 1 in 200M chance of skipping work tomorrow...alcohol is 1 in 5. You play your game...I'll play mine"

"You don't' have to be upset, if nobody notices you You'd make a decent sniper!"