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Joke of the Day

"Are you a guitar? Because I want to wrap my hands around your neck."

"ME: Too much turkey makes me so tired HER: Actually, it makes you sleepy, not tired ME: I'm getting real sleepy of your shit, Debra"

"A prostitute got a tramp stamp It said ""tips appreciated"""

"Why did the Tumblr user get cut up on Halloween? She identified as pump-kin."

"Pick Up Chinese Girl I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, ""Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!"" I said, ""Wow!"" Then her friend said, ""She means 666-3629"

"What's the most believed oxymoron? Peaceful muslims"

"Just came into a HUGH sum of money... I'm an ant and its a penny."

"The Chocolate Bar by Ken I Havesum"

"What my Doctor said... ""Sugar kills more people than Cocaine"" What I heard... ""The next time you're craving Cake...Do some blow instead"""

"How is evolution and a Union construction job similar? They take so long that some people don't believe they don't work."