197924

Joke of the Day

"As I was going through my wallet for a second I thought I got robbed... And then I remembered I got gas."

"What is E.T short for? He only has little legs."

"Why did the elephant paint his toenails red ? So he could hide in the cherry tree !"

"Want to read a joke about pizza? Never-mind, it's too cheesy!"

"Dear clear high heels, Thank you for helping me figure out who's a stripper and who's not."

"BEAR JUDGE: Counsel, this is your last warning, you cannot-- LAWYER: *plays dead* BEAR JUDGE: Where did he go"

"Meanwhile, at the bar: Batman: ""Whisky."" Aquaman: ""Appletini."" ""WHAT?"" ""It's vodka, apple schnapps..."" ""You're off the Justice League."""

"""RELEASE THE KRAKEN!"" ""Kraken's not here."" ""What? Ugh! What can we release?"" ""Gary's here."" ""Gary?! Dammit! Fine... RELEASE THE GARY!"""

"What do you call six gay people at an amusement park? Six Fags"

"CW: My wedding is going to be expensive! Me: Wait till you see what the divorce is going to cost you!"