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Joke of the Day

"I can only handle so much of a screaming kid on a long car ride before I pull over, take them off the roof, and let them back in."

"""This team looks good,"" said my son of the somewhat browner soccer team who were not yet playing soccer. #racist"

"Difference between oral and anal What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex? Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak!"

"What Does an Old Lady's Vagina Taste Like? Depends."

"Which is the most dangerous page of the newspaper? C4."

"I didn't get my period this month or any month prior to that. If I'm pregnant my parents will flip. Also science, science will also flip."

"How to win the war on drugs... .1) Legalize all drugs. .2) Require that all drugs must be purchased through Comcast customer service."

"TIL Hours before Edison died , he came out of coma , opened his eyes and said ""It is very beautiful over there"" Well tesla said it first anyways."

"just saved a bunch of money on his car insurance by fleeing the scene of the accident."

"What did Cinderella say as she was approaching the ball? *makes choking sounds*"