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Joke of the Day

"TIL Hours before Edison died , he came out of coma , opened his eyes and said ""It is very beautiful over there"" Well tesla said it first anyways."

"Sex is like a gas station..!! Sometime you get full service... Sometimes you gotta ask for service and sometimes you have to be happy with self service.!"

"HER: I have something I want to tell u ME: me too HER: *smiles coyly* same time? ME: sure HER: 1,2,3 I LOVE YO- ME: ONE TIME I ATE DOG FOOD"

"If Mitt Romney was president, we'd blame everything on him. ""Damn why is it so cold outside? It wasn't this cold when Obama was president."""

"What do you get when you put 50 Politicians in a room with 50 lesbians? 100 cunts that don't do dick."

"Saw this advert in a window... It said ""television for sale,$1,volume stuck on full"".I thought,""I can't turn that down"""

"I went to a metal concert, the singer was a bit ill... Still fuckin' sick though!"

"Feeling bored? Post a status on Facebook that says ""Barack Obama 2016"" and buckle up for the ride of your life."

"RABBIT HUSBAND: You look even better after a full day of work. I don't know how you do it, honey. RABBIT WIFE: They test cosmetics on me."

"Last night I slept with my contact lenses on. My dreams have never been clearer."