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Joke of the Day

"Mama Pig has a great new kitchen appliance that lets her prepare meals ahead. It's called a garbage compactor."

"You say ""tomato"", I say ""flamingo"". I also put goldfish in my armpits. My opinion should be ignored."

"Mexican wedding Why do they keep a bag of shit in the corner at Mexican wedding To keep the flies off the bride."

"ME: my son ran away COP: we won't rest until we find him ME: [swiping LEGO aside with both feet] no rush"

"I have my own version of Whole Foods, where I eat the Whole Pizza, Whole Box of Donuts, Whole Bag of Chips..."

"What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot..... you racist bastard."

"What is the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don't turn into men when they drink."

"the blood of the innocent will run in the streets? maybe it should get a car or at least use the sidewalk"

"I really want to rent a hot air balloon. Or at least a moderately attractive air balloon with a great personality."