197566

Joke of the Day

"What did the fish say when it crashed into a wall? Damn! (This is my go-to joke that someone told me in highschool like 7 years ago. Felt like sharing it.)"

"""I looked up into the sky and matched each star with a reason why I love you."" ""That's so sweet."" ""Not particularly. It was daytime."""

"ME: What's your favorite movie? DATE: Girl Interupt- ME: *drops fork* What is it? DATE: Girl Interu- ME: *burps* Sorry. Go on. DATE: Fargo"

"As he inserted the rectal thermometer, I got a painfully hard and obvious erection. ""Maybe you should wait outside while I examine your dog,"" said the vet."

"my dads complaining that i ate all his pills but I'M complaining that he's a giant melting prism of pure energy thats turning into a dragon"

"I don't like peanut butter... it just isn't my jam."

"If you're offended by anything on my TL, whatever you do, do not look at the rest of the internet."

"I like my girls like Shrek... Big boned and with an ass that talks back"

"If my girlfriend was a Pokemon her name would be...... Vulva-sore"

"Why didn't Barbie ever get pregnant? Because Ken always came in another box."