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Joke of the Day

"French toast is just like regular toast but with a tongue in it"

"An officer pulled me over for driving erratically, but it was because some bees had gotten into my car. He must have thought I was buzzed."

"What do pregnant women and prostitutes have in common? (w)hormones! NB: inspired by my hormonal pregnant wife."

"I'm so damn tired. I haven't slept since last year."

"I'm the first base coach for my son's baseball team tonight and boy it's really awkward teaching 7 year olds about kissing."

"My job testing fizzy drinks is really getting to me... It's soda grading."

"Me: Alexa, when will computers become self-aware? Alexa: When will YOU become self-aware? M: *gazing out a window, crying* good one, Alexa"

"What is better to be taken, than to be given? A shit"

"With the ides of March around the corner Remember to stab your salad 23 times"

"Did you hear about the girl that backed into an airplane propeller? Disaster"