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Joke of the Day

"Q: How many Pentagon procurement officers does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Look for only $87 billion we can put up this chain of fluorescent satellites that will illuminate the whole planet."

Next Joke
 
"I've finally collected enough rats asses to give to everyone on my list."
"I think my downstairs neighbors are beginning to suspect I'm living in their attic."
"My mom asked if my kids are driving me to drink with the snow days. Told her I've been drinking at home, stupid kids can't reach the pedals."
"The problem with political jokes is they get elected. --Henry Cate VII"
"A zombie opened his frig for a snack. He looked at a human brain, but threw it away... ... it was expired."
"How do you stop a dog humping your leg? Suck it off"
"What's dirtier then fingering your sister? Finding your dad's wedding ring."
"""Your honor-"" No objections. how do you plead to cheating at heads up seven up? ""guilty"" no juice boxes for a week..piece of shit *mom sobs*"
"What did the vet say to the dog he just castrated? No hard feelings."