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Joke of the Day

"Just sold my glove puppet collection. A collector called round and offered me 150 to take them off my hands."

"My girlfriend is like a lawnmower... Everyone is asking to borrow her."

"Why do people call memes ""dank""? Because they release dopameme!"

"An old lady at the ATM asked me to help check her balance So I pushed her over."

"THERAPIST: Well, if you know what's good for you... ME: [Holds up hand] ""Let me stop you right there"""

"At least dogs look at you when you're talking with them as if to say, hell yeah I'd talk to you, but I'm a dog."

"The World of Vegetables by Artie Choak"

"The guy who cuts my hair tells me that the iPad 3 is coming out in March and the iPad 4 is coming out in October."

"What was Roe v. Wade really about? The fastest way to get across a river."

"Did you hear about the monster who had an extra pair of hands? Where did he keep them? In a handbag."