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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend is like a lawnmower... Everyone is asking to borrow her."

"Take Dr. Seuss, make him a black midget with chronic asthma and give him access to Urban Dictionary. Behold, Lil' Wayne."

"I met Michael J Fox yesterday... I was going to shake his hand but remembered it does that on its own."

"What did the donkey say to its dick? That's a pretty big donkey dick."

"Her eyes said no....... But my roofies said yes."

"KID:I drew you a picture! ME:What's this? KID:Our house. ME:What's the orange stuff? KID:Fire. ME:Why's the house on fire? KID:I wanna PS4."

"I asked Santa for a Frisbee when I was a kid.... But I was an only child, so he gave me a boomerang."

"Hate it when I'm at a hotel & the maid leaves her cart unattended & the only thing I can grab before getting caught is 3 dozen shower caps."

"Why was 8 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered 6 offender"

"I dropped my soap in the shower. On purpose. Nothing happened. You guys are full of it."