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Joke of the Day

"The guy who cuts my hair tells me that the iPad 3 is coming out in March and the iPad 4 is coming out in October."

"How many liberals does it take to change a lightbulb None, because change can only come from a revolution of the working classes."

"Do you brush your teeth without making a mess like in the commercials? Because I usually look like I have minty fresh rabies...."

"Q.What do me and a mirror have in common? A.When we see your face we both crack up!"

"I was just accosted by a small child riding shotgun in a shopping cart yelling ""why you ain't got no babies?""I bet my father in law paid her"

"What's gray and comes in quarts? Elephants."

"What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk ? An udder failure !"

"*toy container falls off ship* *Lego bricks wash ashore on a beach full of barefoot swimmers* *president declares a national emergency*"

"If you can tell from my eye contact at the grocery store that I'm inviting you to race shopping carts, you're my kinda people."

"To defeat Superman, Batman will sneak in Superman's house when he's asleep and dig for any weaknesses. You could say, he's going to creep tonight."