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Joke of the Day

"At least dogs look at you when you're talking with them as if to say, hell yeah I'd talk to you, but I'm a dog."

"How can you tell if your buddy is gay? His dick tastes like shit."

"The greatest trick the devil ever played was making you feel productive when you're really just fucking around."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? She heard there was a man laying bricks and she wanted to see it with her own eyes."

"you call it the Irish Goodbye, I call it the I Never Wanted To Be Here In The First Place See You In Hell"

"When life hands you lemons make sure those lemons aren't evidence in a murder that life's trying to frame you for."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet Adele (Hello from the other side)"

"Thought of a '2 guys walk into a bar' joke A gay guy and Sam Adams walk into a bar. The gay guy drank some Sam Adams. But only Sam Adams had alcohol that night."

"A monk killed a man before going into fasting... It was a premeditated homocide"

"I've been nominated for person most likely to not be nominated for anything."