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Joke of the Day

"In accordance to the Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle of Quantum Mechanics, we may already be in love right now."

"[1st day as lifeguard] Guy: there's someone drowning in the water Me [not looking up from phone]: well it'd be hard to drown in the sand"

"Whats the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? BMWs have the pricks on the inside!"

"Homework. Half Of My Energy Wasted On Random Knowledge."

"My mom called me 4 times in a row and woke me up to tell me this joke. I'm so excited about spring i wet my plants!"

"What do you call a Punjabi fellow stuck in the middle of a shark-filled ocean? Amandeep trouble."

"A doctor amputated a hand on a patient and the doctor said to the patient ""on the other hand... you aren't disabled"""

"What do you do with an elephant with three balls? Walk him and pitch to the rhino. For non-Americans, this is a baseball joke"

"Comic Sans Serif walks into a bar.... ... the bartender says: ""Get out! We don't serve your type here! """

"I would think you'd have to be open minded... ...to be a brain surgeon."