143966

Joke of the Day

"My mom called me 4 times in a row and woke me up to tell me this joke. I'm so excited about spring i wet my plants!"

"Times New Roman walks into a saloon. The bartender says to him, ""I'm sorry, we don't serve your type here."" So he shot the serif."

"If I were really famous, I wouldn't even need body guards. These maxi pads promise me 10 hours of protection, each."

"What did the sheep obsessed convict say to Jared Fogle? I have a footlong waiting for **ewe** back in my cell!!!!"

"How do you poison a hipster? Gluten"

"Hockey joke Turnovers are like ex-wives; the more you have, the more they'll cost you."

"an irish man left the bar...... no, really, it happened......"

"Calm down penguins. You're just a flashy suit and a few body parts away from being a platypus."

"*looks up from phone* Great, I'm inside of a coffin again."

"Where did the poor Italian man grow up? The spaghetto"