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Joke of the Day

"Homework. Half Of My Energy Wasted On Random Knowledge."

"If you had lesbian parents, You would be in an endless cycle of ""Go ask your mother."""

"I went to the barbers today. My wife sent me a text that said we had a pipe leaking. I told the barber we're going to have to cut this short. I walked out with a buzz cut."

"How many pregnant women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one. She holds it while the world revolves around her."

"What did the Hispanic firefighter name his kids? Jose and Hose-B"

"Man it would suck if I died on this plane mostly because of some unused gift cards I was waiting for ""the right time"" to use."

"please tell me that when we defeat ISIS they will have to become WASWAS"

"My friends call me The Archeologist Because I date old, dusty pieces of junk"

"Did you hear about Medusa's short lived stand up career? She always faced a tough crowd."

"Because im a bad ass! Why did I put the punchline up there?"