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Joke of the Day

"Comic Sans Serif walks into a bar.... ... the bartender says: ""Get out! We don't serve your type here! """

"Why was the lightning grilled on the stove? -To make heat lightning"

"Professor X can move anything with his mind... except his legs."

"For her birthday, my wife wanted something that went from 0 to 80 in 5 seconds. So I got her a weighing machine..."

"Open books don't get judged by their covers."

"It's not on a map, or some app. MILLER LIGHT"

"How do you make a drummers car more aerodynamic? You remove the pizza delivery sign! Hahahahaaa..ha"

"There was this ancient pagan ritual where they would hit the ground with sticks and shout out. Today we call it golf."

"If I were Amish, I'd have to convert to Pmish cause I'm not a morning person."

"Despite the large variations in ambient temperature, how do warm blooded animals stay warm? By definition."