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Joke of the Day

"May the f... ...orce be equal to mass times acceleration."

"I'm not saying I've gained weight, I'm just saying I don't think my belt buckle should be facing the ground..."

"Whenever people say ""don't judge me"" I like to imagine them in the weird wigs British judges wear. *whispers* Judged you."

"Don't be part of the problem. Be the ENTIRE problem."

"Super Intelligent Student Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home. One boy throws his bag out the window. Teacher: who just threw that?! Boy: Me! and I'm going home now."

"Ladies, try carrying a sausage and 2 apricots in your pocket for a day without them moving and you'll see why we need to readjust ourselves."

"Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70? Because every time she reaches 69 she gets a frog in her throat."

"What do you call a psychic midget who escaped from prison? A small medium at large."

"I bought a new camouflage coat put it in the closet and I can't find that fucker anywhere"

"My first memory was 9 months before I was born. I went to this crazy party with dad and left with mom."