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Joke of the Day
"Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70? Because every time she reaches 69 she gets a frog in her throat."
Next Joke
"*Opens fridge *Sees chocolate bar with a note ""please don't eat me"". *Eats chocolate bar Now who would want to eat a piece of paper?"
"Look at this fly rubbing his hands together, what is he up to?"
"1. have a child 2. never mention it on facebook 3. dress it in old-timey clothes and have it stand in the background of all your photos"
"It's kinda sad that Shakira's hips are our generation's George Washington."
"The Ukrainian government is opening up a tourist attraction in Chernobyl. It will be like Disney World, except the six foot tall mouse is real."
"How to keep a man happy: 1) Phone him 86 times a day 2) Wail hysterically 3) Be needy 4) Never sleep with him 5) Buy yourself shoes"
"I'll never call a radio station because I'm afraid they'll give me tickets to go somewhere and do something."
"Whats the difference between Paul Walker and Tiger Woods? Tiger Woods has a better driver."
"Why did the boy put candles on the toilet? He wanted to have a birthday potty!"