181073

Joke of the Day

"Whenever people say ""don't judge me"" I like to imagine them in the weird wigs British judges wear. *whispers* Judged you."

"I don't get laid on Saturdays. The last two words were unnecessary."

"A man went to a meeting for premature ejaculators anonymous but there was no one there, he came to early."

"What do you get when you cross a child and an alligator? An alligator."

"My wife drew her eyebrows on a bit too high. When I told her, she looked surprised."

"What's the craziest ""would you rather"" scenario you've ever heard? Time for some new ones, the classics are getting tired..."

"For Halloween I'm just gonna talk shit to complete strangers and go as the internet."

"Why did Prince Eric leave Ariel when she became a human? He was just chasing tail."

"Haven't worn a bra in 4 days.... I love being a man"

"If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims!"