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Joke of the Day

"""How many volunteers do we have for my evil army?"" 384 my liege ""Ok, round them up"" 400 my liege"

"What's the difference between a faggot and a freezer? A freezer doesn't fart when you take the meat out!"

"Q: How many editors does it take to change a light bulb? A: If we change the light bulb we'll have to change everything."

"I would walk over Lego's for you."

"[at preschool open house hearing nut allergy policy] *raises hand* What if I draw a peanut on her napkin? Wife: Please go wait in the car"

"To Usain Bolt who stole my neon jacket You can run, but you can't hide"

"my friends are getting married and i'm here wondering what the diff between a soft taco and a burrito and if i should get both for dinner"

"What is a detective duck supposed to do? Quack the case! I'll show myself out."

"A young boy died after having sex with his teacher... His friends high fived him to death. Zak galifinakorishdjignko"

"Jokes Yo mama so poor your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk."