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Joke of the Day

"The only thing that would prevent my wife from going to Pilates class would be if they invented a more expensive form of exercise."

"Met a woman with 12 boobs the other day Sounds weird dozen tit?"

"According to the police report, waking up in your lover's arms is only romantic when they know how you got in their house."

"A general calls a colonel: - Do you have a couple of smart majors? - Yes I do. - Send them to me. I need to move my furniture around."

"Three-legged dog A three-legged dog walks into a saloon and says to the bartender, ""I'm lookin' fer the guy who shot my paw."""

"Don't ever change for anyone. Nothing is worth compromising your beliefs. Unless it's for money."

"If there was such a thing g as competitive Bible Study, would the championships be called prayoffs?"

"It's really hard being a good mother in this day and age. Especially when you're a college aged male with no kids."

"We got two inches of snow last night and now I can't find my Smart Car."

"What do you get when you watch 'Cinderella' backwards? A woman in her place..."