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Joke of the Day
"We got two inches of snow last night and now I can't find my Smart Car."
Next Joke
"Wanna hear three rapid jokes? No."
"The real reason the Mayan civilization collapsed is they never updated their Adobe."
"If women are people, why are they so stupid? Seriously. Even the smartest and most accomplished women are dumber than the most retarded head lice."
"What does the secret service man say to the other secret service man when he has to go to the bathroom? Hold on I have to take Obama to the White house."
"Why is it called Windows 10? Because 7 8 9."
"What do you call a Chinese millionaire? Cha-Ching."
"Today I played dead with my 5yo nephew. He cried for 5 seconds, then grabbed my iPhone and run away."
"I have just been kidnapped by a fat dude in a red suit, shoved in a bag and taken to the north pole and wrapped up. Who put me on their Christmas list?"
"When we were vacationing in New Zealand, I bought myself a back-scratcher made from a Kangaroo claw. ... ... The only downside is when I use it on myself, I end up feeling jumpy the rest of the day."