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Joke of the Day

"A general calls a colonel: - Do you have a couple of smart majors? - Yes I do. - Send them to me. I need to move my furniture around."

"-Where is your wife ? -In the garden. -But I don't see her. -Oh, you just have to dig a little."

"If we were in a fight, I'd mop the floor with you... Except I don't do housework."

"What's Hitlers least favorite drink? Jewce"

"I wanted a dog. My wife wanted a cat. We had to compromise so we got a cat."

"Do you remember the name of the Italian/Vietnamese restaurant we went to? Yeah! It was great, how could I ""Pho-get-abouttit"""

"'How to Win Friends & Influence People' is getting a sequel How to lose friends and alienate people."

"I had this problem where the cap wouldn't stay on my whiskey bottle. So I fixed it with scotch tape."

"Why does Kim Kardashiani have a big butt? because she never had to work her butt off."

"What's the difference between a pregnant woman and Jeb Bush? None. They both should have pull out sooner."