197213

Joke of the Day

"I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next crap could spell disaster."

"livin la vida broka"

"What do Dallas Cowboys fans do after they win the Super Bowl? They turn off their XBOX and go to bed!"

"""Happy birthday! "" - Oh wow! A necklace! I love- wait... Did you get me a fake diamond? ""Well, it's not really your 29th birthday either"""

"How many chicken eggs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Literally dozens."

"There's an age where being drunk becomes pathetic but if you hang in there somewhere around 70 it becomes cool again."

"""I'm so sorry"" ""No, I'm really sorry"" ""No, I'm even sorrier than you"" ""No, I'm the sorriest ever!"" *mutual hug* -Canadian rap battle"

"What's the difference between your mother and a mosquito? The mosquito stops sucking when I slap it"

"How did the Idiot break his arm while raking leaves? He fell out of the tree."

"It's pretty sad that even in 2013 chameleons care so much about skin color."