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Joke of the Day

"In the 50's the pot called the kettle a different word."

"I lost both of my arms today... its ok though. I've learned to embrace it"

"Played twister with my kids and now hold the world record for saying, ""That's not your left foot"" a billion times."

"Why is it better to be ashy? cause it just means you spit more fire"

"Why did the hipster burn his tongue on his coffee? He drank it before it was cool."

"Why don't Jehovah Witnesses like Halloween? Because they don't like random people knocking on their doors"

"Explaining a joke is like dissecting a frog. Im too lazy to do either."

"What's the difference between a condom and the space-time continuum? There wasn't a hole in my dad's space-time continuum."

"Why did the Canadian DJ turn down the gig at the local Y? Because why emcee, eh?"

"I told my friends I found my Lasik surgeon on Yelp and they were horrified. Or interested, I'm not sure, I can't make out faces so well."