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Joke of the Day

"I told my friends I found my Lasik surgeon on Yelp and they were horrified. Or interested, I'm not sure, I can't make out faces so well."

"Have you heard of the beer Jesus made? Its called Hebrew."

"What does Melania say to the Donald after sex? Next time *I* suck Bill's dick while YOU watch."

"So I watched my first porno the other day... I'd have to say, damn I looked good."

"I'm not racist because... I'm not a racist because racism is a crime, And crime is for blacks."

"e=mc2 was just Einstein comparing himself to other rappers"

"What is a pedophile's first guitar lesson? How to finger A minor"

"Boy playing Pokemon go walks into a bar He should've been paying attention"

"Venus Williams should marry Bruno Mars and become Venus Mars."

"What did the cannibal wipe with . . . . . . after he ate some people at the library? Pages from *Reader's Digest*"