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Joke of the Day

"Why did the Canadian DJ turn down the gig at the local Y? Because why emcee, eh?"

"how is an antivirus similar to porn? You don't have to pay for it."

"What did the redneck say when she lost her virginity? GET OFF ME DAD, you're crushing my cigarettes!"

"Who was the widest knight at King Arthur's round table? Sir Cumference, he ate too much pi"

"So I just turned 21 and there is still no change in my eyesight... when do I get my adult supervision?"

"Tramp! A trampoline used to be called a jumpoline before your mother jumped on it."

"John was at the 17th floor of a building. John hop off from the ledge and began to fall. Why didn't John die? John is a bird."

"I bet the worst part about being a birthday cake is when you're set on fire, and then eaten by the hero that saved you."

"I didn't like my haircut at first... But it's growing on me."

"Sleep is always the answer. Upset? Go to sleep. Not feeling well? Go to sleep. Already asleep? Stop making excuses and go to sleep harder."