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Joke of the Day

"Losing my virginity was a lot like my first football game Hurt, bloody, but at least my dad came."

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"An evil villain is on the loose Ant-Man: Yellowjacket again? [giant kid with magnifying glass emerges] Ant-Man: You gotta be kidding me"
"What's common between a Game Tester and Gynecologist. They both look for problems in places where other men find pleasure."
"You ever notice when your phone decides to call someone its someone you don't want to talk to.!"
"My girlfriend... I told me friend that I found a girlfriend. They laughed at me and told me she was imaginary. Now the joke is on them, turns out that they are also imaginary."
"My son keeps running around naked, so I sprayed him with Windex. It's supposed to prevent streaking."
"Since we're talking about Vampire jokes, here's my favorite. What did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire? See you next month..."
"I hear they took Aaron Hernandez out of Madden and put him in Grand Theft Auto V."
"Mother: How do you like your new teacher ? Son: I don't. She told me to sit up the front for the present and then she didn't give me one !"
"School taught me a lot of stuff, but the most useful was how to get ready in 15 minutes"