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Joke of the Day
"So the Irish are pissed... ...drunk. ... Yeah."
Next Joke
"why can't you keep a jew in jail? they eat lox..."
"What does a pirate say when he turns 80? Aye Matey. might be a repost sorry if it is!"
"Forever Alone Barbie: Comes with 20 cats, and a Twitter account. Alcoholism and debilitating depression not included."
"[girlfriend finally texts back] ME: i'm so mad at you. HER: i'm naked come over. ME: i'm not really mad i was jk lol omw babe"
"There are two types of people I can't stand. Nosy people, and people who won't tell me what the hell they're whispering about."
"What do dwarves and midgets have in common? Very little"
"""What do we want!"" ""Hearing aids!"" ""When do we want them!"" ""Hearing aids!"""
"They say anal sex is like your first car... you might not like it but your dad will give it to you anyway!"
"Cancer cures smoking."