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Joke of the Day

"I recently bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with.. But I've been tripping all day."

"I hope one day to be dating a moderator from /r/jokes... Everything is long from their point of view!!"

"My friend told me I don't understand irony. Which is ironic, because we were in a dry cleaner at the time."

"New 10 dollar bill did you hear about the new 10 dollar bill with a women on it ? ... it's only worth $7.70"

"Pretty cool that there's no law saying you can't name your kid Squidward if you want."

"Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!"

"Perfection ""Practice makes perfect"" ""Nobody's perfect"" I'm so confused"

"Why did Snow White stop using the mail-in photo lab? She was tired of singing ""Some day, my prints will come..."""

"How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee *before* it was cool."

"Every time I put on my striped socks I always have an ominous feeling that today is the day that a house will drop on me."