86958

Joke of the Day

"Why did Snow White stop using the mail-in photo lab? She was tired of singing ""Some day, my prints will come..."""

"How many Nazis does it take to finish a race? None, Nazis can't finish a race."

"When I was a kid, my parents gave me a drum set for Christmas. They let me bang them as long as it wasn't after midnight. They always slept better after being banged."

"Girl at engineering school: I'm like the single-most clumsy person [5 male engineering students emerge from bushes] ""Did you say single?"""

"Why should you never date a vegan girl? She won't swallow."

"What insect lives on nothing? A moth because it eats holes."

"Ive been married twice... my first wife died of mushroom poisoning and my second wife died of a fractured skull. She didnt like mushrooms."

"Where does Santa keep his nuts? In his nutsack..."

"Why can't you hear the bass on Metallica's And Justice For All album? Because they threw the bass player under the bus."

"There's a C cup, a T cup, and a P cup The C cup is for drinking coffee The T cup is for drinking tea And the P cup is used to get a Mexican to work"