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Joke of the Day

"Eddie's father called up to him 'Eddie if you don't stop playing that trumpet I think I'll go crazy!' Eddy replied 'I think you are already I stopped playing half an hour ago.'"

"What is green and smells like bacon? ... Kermit's finger"

"Me blacking out when I'm drunk is God's way of telling me that what I do when I drink is none of my business."

"What did the teacher do with the student's cheese report? She grated it."

"#1 Handjob Tip for Women: Use your mouth."

"An atom loses an electron... It says, ""man, I really gotta keep an ion them."" Edit: RIP inbox, nearly thought Reddit Au was coming Edit 2: First Reddit au! Thanks kind stranger!"

"Before being born, I wish I would have been able to select the difficulty level of my life."

"Did you hear the joke about the skunk? Never mind it stinks!"

"Who do Canadians call when their car breaks down? Triple, eh?"

"What does a ghost wear when it's raining? boooooooooooooots"