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Joke of the Day

"My teacher called me into her office today. She totally wants my D To go up to a C."

"Got a long rambling phone call in spanish.. I don't know who they were, or what they were saying, but im pretty sure they're bringing me tostadas in one hour."

"What does a woman do with her asshole when she's having sex? She sends him out to play golf."

"Why did x and y break up? They couldn't function together."

"What is reddits least favorite dish? Kung Pao Chicken"

"Why does England always get attacked in the summer? Because the Knights are shorter then."

"two Odessa women fall out with each other: - Oh, you old whore! - Sarah! I do not understand, what's age got to do with It ?!"

"Yo mamma's so fat when she went on vacation, the locals correctly identified her as an American"

"Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself? You would too if your name was ""GWWAAAANNNEEEHHHAARRRR"""

"How does Bob Marley like his sandwiches? Wi' jam in"