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Joke of the Day

"The girls who don't get a rose on The Bachelor should automatically get a cat."

"Joke my dad told me: What's black and white and red, and has trouble going through a revolving door? A nun with a javelin through her head"

"Thanks for telling me this is your ""pet cat"" because otherwise I might have thought it was your business associate cat."

"Him: Are you mad? Her: typing Her: typing Her: typing Her: typing Her: typing Her: typing Her: typing Her: typing Her: No, I'm fine, why?"

"I'm sexually attracted to metal boxes with locking systems. But don't worry. It's safe sex."

"I hate girls who insert the phrase ""my boyfriend"" into every conversation. So does my boyfriend."

"It is unfair that girls mature faster than boys. Girls get their boobs at 13, and men get their boobs when they're in their 40's"

"My new year celebration is Masturbating Couple's are enjoying their new year eve, friends are watching movies and I'm here still doing masturbating. Fuck yeah"

"BLONDE DRIVER Q: Why did the blonde take a right into the ditch? A: Her blinker was on."

"I saw two kids fighting on the elementary school playground... Being the only adult around, I had to step in. They didn't stand a chance."