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Joke of the Day

"I'm sexually attracted to metal boxes with locking systems. But don't worry. It's safe sex."

"Find everything OK, sir? Everything except happiness! You won't find that at Wal-Mart! We laughed & laughed until my credit card declined"

"How awkward would it have been for coach if he put in Air Bud and they lost."

"A horse walks into a bar The bartender asks ""what do you want?"". The horse, not understanding the English language, takes a shit on the floor and leaves."

"So excited for the season finale of America I hope there's another season though..."

"How are tornadoes and marriage alike? They both begin with a lot of sucking and blowing, and in the end you lose your house."

"If you don't get this joke... ...then you should probably get your hearing checked."

"When I was at the beach there was a guy in the ocean yelling, ""Shark! Help!"" And I just laughed. I knew that shark wasn't going to help him."

"I didn't think my hangover was that bad, until I spent 10 minutes trying to log into my nephew's Etch-a-sketch."

"Double standard - bear breaks into girl's house, bear gets shot. Girl breaks into bear's house, we write a children's story about it."