196090

Joke of the Day

"""You da bomb"" was one of the best things to hear someone tell me when I was younger. But the possibility of hearing it now has me scared to death here in ISIS."

"I wanted to kill myself by drinking 100 beers, but when I finished my second one, I felt much better."

"A snake walks into a bar... The bartender says, ""How did you do that?"""

"The real reason women will never be the ones to propose... As soon as she gets on her knees, he will start unzipping his pants."

"*man choking* Is there a doc in the house? *Dr Pepper rises* *searches man's pockets* Hey ur no doctor! *moustache falls off* *it's Mr Pibb*"

"How do you know if you are having a good time? When you throw your knickers against the wall, and they stay there."

"Involuntary Owl Knock knock. Who's there? Involuntary owl. Involuntary owl who?"

"You never get a second chance to make a first impression. Unless you work in the alzheimer's wing of a nursing home, then you get lots."

"Did y'all know witches make only 70% of the salary warlocks make despite doing the same evil-ass magic? That's some bullshit right there!"

"Have you ever eaten Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they"