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Joke of the Day

"*man choking* Is there a doc in the house? *Dr Pepper rises* *searches man's pockets* Hey ur no doctor! *moustache falls off* *it's Mr Pibb*"

"It's raining cats and dogs... I hope I don't step in a Poodle!"

"One you haven't heard- What do you call twins with no arms and no legs, hanging by a window? Curt 'n Rod"

"Q: What do astronauts eat for dinner? A: Launch meat."

"What if ISIS started claiming responsibility for nice things like when my mom says, ""who emptied the dishwasher?!"""

"What did the buffalo say when his son left for college? Bison."

"I don't want Harriet Tubman on my $20's I don't want them to be worth 3/5 of their value"

"My 5-year-old blames me when things go wrong and takes all the credit when they go right. She'll be a CEO someday."

"How many babies does it take to paint a barn... ...depends on how hard you throw them"

"How did ISIS do on their French test? They bombed it..."