196009

Joke of the Day

"It makes more sense to dump Gatorade on the losing head coach."

"[On the phone with the police for the 7th time in 2 weeks] ""Sir, again, we cannot arrest your cat"""

"What did the sheep say when he saw his girlfriend? Baaaaaeeeee!"

"Vegans are confusing people. If they care about animals so much, why do they eat all of their food?"

"Police searching for a missing child heard heavy breathing coming from a parked van. But, when they looked, it was just a kid napping."

"I told my therapist I don't wanna see her anymore. She said from what she's learned, that means I'll fuck her 3 more times."

"What does smoking a cigarette and eating a pussy have in common? [NSFW] The flavor gets stronger as you get closer to the butt."

"How do you tell if a feminist is on their period? You can't."

"I just saved 57 dollars on my groceries without a single coupon. Self checkouts are awesome."

"If you always think the grass is greener on the other side, maybe you should water what the fuck you have and see how that works out first."