182918

Joke of the Day

"[On the phone with the police for the 7th time in 2 weeks] ""Sir, again, we cannot arrest your cat"""

"I think abs are for guys that don't have the confidence to wear a nice T-shirt to the pool."

"I can't decide whether to go to Australia or Thailand this year for a holiday. So I decided to weigh up the pros and cons of both. Australia has a load of Cons, but Thailand has lots of Pros."

"How many dead babies can fit inside a Bio-dumpster? 16."

"A policeman spots a woman driving and knitting at the same time. Driving up beside her he shouts out the window... ""Pull over!"" ""No"" she shouts back ""a pair of socks!"""

"Yo mama so ugly that not even goldfish crackers smile back"

"Seriously. Who gets ""regular strength"" ANYTHING?! ""Yeah, go ahead & gimme your middle-of-the-road shit. I'd like this headache to LINGER."""

"Why do dyslexics make bad joke tellers? They always punch up the fuckline"

"My sister told me I'd never be able to kill a man with my pasta... ... She soon learned that the penne's mightier than the sword!"

"Why do we all marry? - because romance is not the only element of life, we should also know horror, terror, suspense, irony, stupidity and tragedy of life!"