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Joke of the Day

"Police searching for a missing child heard heavy breathing coming from a parked van. But, when they looked, it was just a kid napping."

"Japanese boy kills his grandfather... Pfft, youth in Asia."

"Girls are just like pasta. Throw her against the wall, if she sticks, she's ready."

"Why did yo girl cross the road? (Joke from one of my 5th graders) Cause she saw me. Another: Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause he saw some chicks."

"Kids are like farts... I hate everyone elses but for some weird reason I like my own."

"Great... This guy double parked his porsche, and now I've got paint all in my keys."

"Her: Do you consider yourself broadminded? Me: All I ever think about are broads... so I'll have to go with a yes on this one."

"Why did the chickens cross the road? Because they were Turkish."

"I've dated a vegetarian, trust me, they put meat in their mouth."

"I can not stand the new style with hip hop music, they say one word then repeat it a dozen times. It is so freakin annoying and lame lame lame lame lame."