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Joke of the Day

"Vegans are confusing people. If they care about animals so much, why do they eat all of their food?"

"How many kidnapped children does it take to change a lightbulb? The parents would love to know."

"Who was the first underwater spy? James Pond."

"Don't ever forget the 'L' if you ever Google - Grandfather Clock"

"I eat slowly, so I can't ever live in Moscow. Everyone's Russian there."

"After reading your recent updates, I'm surprised that Facebook hasn't yet asked you, ""Whatever's on your mind, could you keep it to yourself?"""

"why did Star Wars episodes 4,5, and 6 come before 1, 2, and 3? Yoda was In charge of scheduling"

"What is a surgeon's excuse for not wearing a condom? Don't worry baby, I'm sterile."

"Might see you guys in 15-25yrs. Weekend with my folks & it's only a matter of time before I snap."

"I assume anyone sitting alone in a car in the dark corner of a grocery store parking lot is waiting to meet a hitman who is running late."