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Joke of the Day

"Remember, if you get dumped, it's only because they're looking for someone sexier and more attractive. It has NOTHING to do with you."

"So, if someone who works for the Postal Service did an AMA and answered every single question... ...does that mean OP delivered?"

"How did Jesus stay in such good shape? Cross fit."

"Reddit is like the dentist. No matter what you're doing, it's wrong."

"They're demanding figgy pudding. They won't go until they get some. What do I do? Call the cops? I'm calling the cops."

"What did the bartender say to the gold when the gold walked into a bar? ""AU, get outta here!"""

"I tried acting in porn movies but I only had small parts."

"My need for caffeine is so bad I'm going to AA for the free coffee"

"Michael Phelps can't play any MMORPG anymore He always gets banned as a gold farmer."

"Do you NOT like Undertale? Then you must be UNDER the crowd!"