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Joke of the Day

"They're demanding figgy pudding. They won't go until they get some. What do I do? Call the cops? I'm calling the cops."

"Invention of the knife ""What is that?"" I call it the 'knife'. ""Wow, that's the best thing since bread!"" Greg, I am about to blow your mind."

"What's the difference between Jews and Boy Scouts? Boy Scouts get to leave the camp."

"""70% of the people don't know how to use the superlative degree in English"" That's the most stupidest thing that I've ever heard."

"Q: What happened to the Polish National Library? A: Someone stole the book."

"Why did Microsoft skip straight to 10? Because Windows 7, 8, 9. I'll see myself out."

"I got my head cut off [removed]"

"What is a dog who crosses the street twice in an hour? A double crosser."

"You can't make blanket statements & expect people to take you seriously, but since I hate clowns I'm pretty sure everyone else does too."

"What's the difference between a feminist and a gun? Some people are against shooting guns."