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Joke of the Day

"Do you NOT like Undertale? Then you must be UNDER the crowd!"

"Charm me with your intelligence or just wait till I'm really drunk."

"new hipster fad = being really into public domain music"

"Marvel's latest movie franchise follows an aging Peter Parker as he swaps crimefighting for medical studies in Spiderman: WebMD"

"""Yo mama is so fat, when she was cremated all the flights in Europe got cancelled.""-my 10 year old cousin. right now."

"Say ""Oh my God"" 5x fast, then say ""I got 'em"" 5x fast.. Have you found Jesus? Lol, jk.. But they sound pretty similar, don't they?"

"My priest was pretty upset today. Nobody at mass bought him a Father's Day card."

"Where did the pilgrims land when they came to America? On their feet!"

"Cops: Jay X? Me: Yes. Cops: Your dog has been reported to have chased someone on a bike. Me: Thats bullshit my dog doesnt have a bike."

"My ultimate dream is to move back home, open up a bar and run it with all of my friends, and then burn it down for the insurance money"