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Joke of the Day

"'Five dollars for one question!' said the girl to the fortune-teller. 'That's very expensiveisn't it ?' 'Next!'"

"Stephen Hawking seems to be a very emotional person He is even moved by his chair"

"What do you call a man with a penis in the middle of his face? Fuck nose."

"What's the difference between snow tires and slaves? Slaves sing when chains are put on them. PS - im going to church today to beg for forgiveness"

"There was a royal baby... The royal baby was born 8 pounds, 6 ounces. With the exchange rate, that's like 12.50, American."

"Knock knock! ""Who's there?"" ""L.A."" ""L.A. who?"" ""L.A. who Akbar!"""

"Sometimes I just want to slap the stupid out of people, but I'm worried it'd take up my entire day"

"If it's one thing I hate, it's an Indian-giver... No, I take that back."

"I called the Rape Advice Line earlier today. Turns out it's only for victims."

"I fear one day my gf will figure out every romantic thing I say to her is a line from Brokeback Mountain."