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Joke of the Day

"I fear one day my gf will figure out every romantic thing I say to her is a line from Brokeback Mountain."

"Q: How can you tell when a blonde is dating? A: By the buckle print on her forehead."

"The ending for Toy Story 3 only Andy sells his toys to get weed money and makes a bong out of Mr. Potato Head."

"What did Charlie Manson get his fiancee? A blood diamond... (doh!)"

"What kind of music does a printer make? A paper jam."

"What is a composer's favorite vegetable? Bach choy."

"[In line at Starbucks] [Woman behind me talking] I work in an office with 50% men so- [Excitedly turn around] OMG YOU WORK WITH CENTAURS"

"The American education system. That's it. That's the joke."

"What's the square root of optimus prime? I'm not sure, but it's more than meets the eye."

"if it's not a failure it sucks ass"