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Joke of the Day

"Just got my grades back for my computer science class. Apparently, I got a C++ on my final."

"*accidentally grabs a fork from the silverware drawer instead of a spoon but I'm too lazy to go back so it takes me 47 min. to eat my soup*"

"The woman in the Superman underwear next to me does not quite understand how white pants work."

"Exercising can add years to your life. For example I jogged 4 miles today and now I feel like I'm 73."

"A guy asks his grandmother... ""Granny, have you seen my pills, they're marked LSD"". Granny replies, ""Fuck the pills, have you seen the dragon in the kitchen?!"""

"Why did the snail cross the road ? It is not clear yet , let it cross the road first. Update : It has been confirmed that it was to meet the Chicken who crossed the road earlier."

"Why didn't the dog speak to his foot ? Because it's not polite to talk back to your paw !"

"The swedish word ""gratrunka"" means 'crying while masturbating'. Guess you can say its a... real tear jerker."

"My mother-in-law was bitten by a dog yesterday. How is she now ? She's fine. But the dog died."

"10 yr old brother put a twist on this joke I saw awhile back. Why do the Irish serve up their chili with 139 beans? Because one more would be one-farty bowl of chili!"