195098

Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend left me because of the way I face the toilet paper. I told her I can't help it... That's just how I roll."

"How do you titillate an ocelot? You oscillate its tit a lot."

"Why do liberal courts don't work? Because they don't like to judge anyone."

"a muslim, a jew, a christian and an atheist walk into a coffee shop... and they talk, laugh, drink coffee and become good friends. thats what happens when you're not an asshole."

"Warning to ppl who drink & drive, yday while driving, frnd took his arm out to indicate right turn & someone took his beer. Rascals! #txt"

"An alcoholic goes to the doctor.. The doctor diagnoses the man and says ""You have alcohol poisoning."" The man replies, ""I am going to find and KILL the person who poisoned my drinks!"""

"Now if they could just make PokemonStop.. I could sit and actually enjoy this game! In playin pokemon Yellow right now ; p"

"Have you ever had sex while camping.... It's fucking in-tents"

"Are you hot, dawg? Funniest dog joke I tell my pet beagle every hot afternoon. He laughs everytime."

"I went to the zoo today. All they had was one dog. It was a shit zoo"